I’m a vegetarian. I dislike pets. No, let me rephrase more correctly, I hate pets. To this date I still don’t understand why otherwise rational people succumb to talk to animals as if they can actually understand what is being said to them. Today askthefool.com presents a highly scientific and objective analysis comparing and contrasting [...]

What happened to all the classical screenames? Why has the world become obsessed with, pimp, cutie, baby, 69, and dog in them? You make screenames that resemble your name in some respect, or are memorable for a particular reason. Seriously. I’m an inch away from blocking the next so-called “pimp” and warning the next “cutie” [...]

What is a poem? It has to have incomprehensible words, impenetrable meaning and intricate rhyme and rhythm, must be very serious, and have no connection to real life. It’s usually some sad, depressing story on life, love, or faith in bullshit that people preach that can’t be proven. More over, assholes write sad poetry which [...]

Come on, dude, I know you. There is no way you sat through “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” on an airplane. Between the hissing headphones, the small screen and that tall guy in front of you there are far too many obstacles for you to have struggled through for a movie so [...]

I swear, the average geek must have at least 3 dozen unused, three-foot phone cables. They come with every computer, every phone, every modem, every device, seemingly. I just opened a powerstrip box, and there was one in there. And it’s annoying, because it’s the type of item that implies just enough usefulness to deny [...]

The point of a blog isn’t to document every single time you take a shit and brush your teeth. More and more bloggers are turning into people who post hundreds of webcam pictures everywhere, 2 gigs worth of text documenting every single time they ate something all written in extremely stylish, yet impossible to read [...]

I bet people think I’m rude when I get straight to the point. I do it more often then not, when I call someone and their parents or siblings pick up the phone, I don’t even bother to talk to them I just ask for who(what)ever I’m calling about. I hate when people beat around [...]

All you guys out there, don’t do any of this ‘hehehehehe’ crap. It’s HAHAHAHAHA. Laugh with pride you damn females. And you girls out there, don’t do any of this ‘so funnie’ crap. It’s HAHAHAHAHA. Laugh with pride you damn males. Really, I’m not insane. I swear I’m not.

So today I’m at Starbucks playing chess and get thirsty. So I go up to the counter to order a frappachinno and I wonder whats that stack of odd plastic things on the counter? Turns out to be a fricking new AOL disc, with a cover I hadn’t seen before. AOL disc at Starbucks? Is [...]

I just love having phone conversations with uncles whose name I don’t recognize but somehow knew me when I was three. I feel like a criminal being interrogated for the crime of growing up.

I like taking pictures of things when I’m on vacation, but at parties I hate it. I always get stuck with either a video camera or some cheezy digital taking pics. When your holding a camera you don’t notice anything that’s going on and you’re stuck sitting (or standing, even worse) holding your hand steady [...]

Sucks. Especially arranging it. Not only is it heavy, it usually goes in high places and gets used twice a year. Another aspect that is ridiculous is how fragile it is. If you pay good money for something you at least expect it to be sturdy. You have to be “delicate” with it and most [...]

- tYpiNg lIke tHis – Spelling like this: bai, gud, gr8 – People who talk in other languages around others who don’t speak it. We live in America. English is the widely spoken language use it. – People who cancel plans at the last minute for reasons that can be easily avoided – People who [...]

Why are people so obsessed with making their cars look like they’re faster than they really are? They go all out and buy new rims, tint their windows, add fins, paint stripes on their car. You drive a shitty car, deal with it. What’s the point of dumping all this cash into modifications when it [...]