Maybe I’m just easily amused. Maybe not. Continue reading if you are above the age of 18 and don’t have a problem with vulgar!
Maybe I’m just easily amused. Maybe not. Continue reading if you are above the age of 18 and don’t have a problem with vulgar!
“Hi, can I get a milkshake?” “Sure. What kind?” “What types are there?” She motioned to a board around the corner without turning her head. “All those flavors.” I didn’t bother looking. “Chocolate?” “Okay. Do you want yogurt or ice cream?” After pausing briefly: “What’s the difference?” “Well, one is fat, the other is non-fat,” [...]
I put the owl-shaped vitamin in my mouth, took a drink of water, tilted my head back, and attempted to swallow. But the vitamin, almost the size of my pinky, wouldn’t go down. After spitting and swearing, I grabbed the container to make sure that they were, in fact, children’s vitamins, because I was wondering [...]
“Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.” “Names?” “Tim and Jim Jones.” “Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance.” “Yes, we’re brothers.” “Brothers? You can’t get married.” “Why not? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?” “Yes, thousands. But we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!” “Incest?” No, we [...]
Reality television has taught us how little some celebrities know. Yes, there is someone out there who has never heard of Wal-Mart. “What is Wal-Mart [...] It’s, like, they sell wall stuff?”. Paris Hilton is talking about the same world’s leading retailer that is down the street. I can only fathom the other morsels of [...]
A county official has asked computer and video equipment vendors to consider eliminating the terms “master” and “slave” from equipment because they may be considered offensive. It’s nice to know that our tax paid officials are spending their time trying to accomplish noble deeds such as the abolition of the inequality present on my CD-ROM [...]
abbr. Actual laugh out loud. Since the outburst of geek-speak among the masses, LOL has reached the status of having no meaning due to over use. Chances are if someone says LOL to you they didn’t really laugh out loud, they just want to convey that your previous comment was funny. ALOL is for those [...]
RandomDude: is there a limit on the number of blogs you can put? Ask 2k3: who are you RandomDude: some moron using your service Ask 2k3: no there isn’t Not everyday do you see someone who introduces themselves as a moron.
Jeff (Korean): Haha someone Ims ask2k3 and your away says to message miceroared. So they do. Then they get another away saying you’re not there. Auto response from mice roared: I am away from my computer right now. Jeff (Korean): You misleading fucker.
There are two types of junk mail that everyone gets: coupons for stupid bullshit that you don’t want, and credit card applications for credit to buy stupid bullshit that you don’t need. Here’s how to take care of all your junk mail in one stone: use the postage-paid envelope that credit card companies send you [...]
Ask 2k3 (10:32:11 PM): DUDE i can’t wait for mammoth Neil (10:32:39 PM): dude Neil (10:32:41 PM): me three man Neil (10:32:48 PM): every day on the toilet Neil (10:32:50 PM): i think Neil (10:32:55 PM): it would be so much more fun crapping in mammoth
A herd of buffalo move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, when the herd is hunted, the slowest and weakest ones at the back are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling [...]
Q: “What does the Zen Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?” A: “Make me one with everything.” So, the hot dog vendor makes him the hot dog. The monk gives him a $20 bill. The vendor puts it in his cash drawer and closes the drawer. The monk says, “Where’s my change?” The [...]