Funny comic emailed from Ankit, my cousin in India.

We are always late, we would have missed all 4 flights. We would first request then be distracted by a 4 hour inflight Bollywood film We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we’re there. We talk with our hands, therefore we would [...]

With a new school year starting, there is a whole new class of freshman that have joined The Facebook. With most students having a computer – or the ones whose parents love them anyway – the majority of students are registered on The Facebook. After all, it is a good resource to match faces with [...]

Tyreke is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Tyreke’s homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence. 1. Hotel – I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody. 2. Dictate – My girlfriend say my dictate good. 3. Catacomb – I saw Don King at da fight the other [...]

I got absolutely nothing accomplished today. I read the same news three different times on three different sites. I read everyone on my buddy list’s AIM info.. twice. I watched a movie on TV. I went to class today which turned out to be a “check-lab” meaning I signed my name on paper and left. [...]

If you took the past 11 hours as a sample time for the average amount of firealarms in one year here at Read Hall, it would tell you that we get 796 firealarms annually. Half of those at 3:30am. Personally, I’d rather die in the fire… at least I’d be warm.

[After I woke up at 7:30 PM and distinguished the two Joe's on the floor as White Joe and Black Joe:] Joe Sunder: You scare all the girls away with your racist and vampire tendencies. Scott Schubert: I’ve never seen an actor make Keanu Reeves look like a fucking genius… Thanks Paul Walker. Greg: “What [...]

Went with the guys to see Anchorman. Definitely in the top 10 funny movies of all time. Memorable quotes from the movie… Veronica Corningstone : Mr. Burgundy, I am a professional and I’d appreciate it if you stopped acting like a baby! Ron Burgundy : I’m not a baby, I’m a MAN, I am an [...]

Yesterday around 12:45AM, I went with Kate to Steak & Shake. It probably wasn’t the best of ideas considering I had to pull an all-nighter to study for my Finite and K201 Practical midterms but it was fun. We entered the restaurant soon after a guy (let’s call him J-Bob) who was soon to become [...]

No, this isn’t a morbid entry, a cry for help, or a political jab. It’s actually a quote from the PHP documentation for custom error handling. Specifically: “Also note that it is your responsibility to die() if necessary.” A little creative writing never hurt anyone, well, except perhaps in this instance.

What is a poem? It has to have incomprehensible words, impenetrable meaning and intricate rhyme and rhythm, must be very serious, and have no connection to real life. It’s usually some sad, depressing story on life, love, or faith in bullshit that people preach that can’t be proven. More over, assholes write sad poetry which [...]

Nitrous (NOS) is like a really hot girl with STD’s, you know you want to hit it but you’re afraid of the consequences. Owning a car and not taking it to the track is like having a supermodel wife and never making love.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful [...]

Since I’m most likely going to IU, a family friend (who lives in Indiana) forwared this to me: Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. "Vacation" means going to Kings Island for the week end. You measure distance in hours. You know several people who [...]

After months of negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from Odessa was granted permission to visit Moscow. He boarded the train and found an empty seat. At the next stop a young man got on and sat next to him. The scholar looked at the young man and thought: This fellow doesn’t look like a [...]