Posts Tagged ‘funny’

November 2nd, 2005

Facebook Etiquette

With a new school year starting, there is a whole new class of freshman that have joined The Facebook. With most students having a computer – or the ones whose parents love them anyway – the majority of students are registered on The Facebook. After all, it is a good resource to match faces with [...]

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October 27th, 2005

Vocabulary Lesson

Tyreke is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Tyreke’s homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence. 1. Hotel – I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody. 2. Dictate – My girlfriend say my dictate good. 3. Catacomb – I saw Don King at da fight the other [...]

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March 29th, 2005

My Busy Day

I got absolutely nothing accomplished today. I read the same news three different times on three different sites. I read everyone on my buddy list’s AIM info.. twice. I watched a movie on TV. I went to class today which turned out to be a “check-lab” meaning I signed my name on paper and left. [...]

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March 4th, 2005

Fire Alarms

If you took the past 11 hours as a sample time for the average amount of firealarms in one year here at Read Hall, it would tell you that we get 796 firealarms annually. Half of those at 3:30am. Personally, I’d rather die in the fire… at least I’d be warm.

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October 23rd, 2004

Funny quotes by funny people

[After I woke up at 7:30 PM and distinguished the two Joe's on the floor as White Joe and Black Joe:] Joe Sunder: You scare all the girls away with your racist and vampire tendencies. Scott Schubert: I’ve never seen an actor make Keanu Reeves look like a fucking genius… Thanks Paul Walker. Greg: “What [...]

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October 23rd, 2004

Anchorman

Went with the guys to see Anchorman. Definitely in the top 10 funny movies of all time. Memorable quotes from the movie… Veronica Corningstone : Mr. Burgundy, I am a professional and I’d appreciate it if you stopped acting like a baby! Ron Burgundy : I’m not a baby, I’m a MAN, I am an [...]

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October 17th, 2004

Bum at Steak & Shake

Yesterday around 12:45AM, I went with Kate to Steak & Shake. It probably wasn’t the best of ideas considering I had to pull an all-nighter to study for my Finite and K201 Practical midterms but it was fun. We entered the restaurant soon after a guy (let’s call him J-Bob) who was soon to become [...]

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September 29th, 2004

It’s Your Responsibility To Die

No, this isn’t a morbid entry, a cry for help, or a political jab. It’s actually a quote from the PHP documentation for custom error handling. Specifically: “Also note that it is your responsibility to die() if necessary.” A little creative writing never hurt anyone, well, except perhaps in this instance.

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September 27th, 2004

Poetry Sucks And So Do The Poets

What is a poem? It has to have incomprehensible words, impenetrable meaning and intricate rhyme and rhythm, must be very serious, and have no connection to real life. It’s usually some sad, depressing story on life, love, or faith in bullshit that people preach that can’t be proven. More over, assholes write sad poetry which [...]

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June 15th, 2004

Car-Related Humor

I gave a ride home to a girl in my PS6 class. Seeing that I have a stick shift she says “Why would you drive a car with three pedals? You only have two feet.” – Nitrous (NOS) is like a really hot girl with STD’s, you know you want to hit it but you’re [...]

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May 31st, 2004

The World

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful [...]

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May 28th, 2004

Indiana Humor

Since I’m most likely going to IU, a family friend (who lives in Indiana) forwared this to me: Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. "Vacation" means going to Kings Island for the week end. You measure distance in hours. You know several people who [...]

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May 24th, 2004

Why Russian are good at chess.

After months of negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from Odessa was granted permission to visit Moscow. He boarded the train and found an empty seat. At the next stop a young man got on and sat next to him. The scholar looked at the young man and thought: This fellow doesn’t look like a [...]

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May 18th, 2004

Hilarious

Maybe I’m just easily amused. Maybe not. Continue reading if you are above the age of 18 and don’t have a problem with vulgar!

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May 17th, 2004

“Take a Chill Pill”

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